That moment when you slide back your heavy metal
chair on the tile floor in you dorm and the ground roughly vibrates and you
cringe because the sound waves are piercing your eardrums, is how writing makes
me feel. Now, getting the words in the page is difficult for me but really, it
is reading my writing when I cringe in a lack a satisfaction. I have a total
lack of confidence in my writing and over time further through school it has
only made me hate writing more. I cannot say when but there was a point when I
just switched to the mind set that I am an absolutely horrible writer. It
doesn't help that when I was asked to do a quick write about the thoughts of
some foreign affair My mind froze between the conflicting ideas and a dark fog
rolled over my head between where I stand, next thing I know I am asked to turn
in a blank piece of paper. It may have simply comparing grades of classmates
what put me down. In a way it is sad but I let a simple number convince me that
I am a horrible writer.
Although I have spent most of this blog and the
previous blog talking about how I dislike writing and how I feel like I am bad
it. But, truthfully after I write an essay and story, it can be fulfilling to
have a visible story evidence of your stories, opinions, and expressions. It is
solid words, as in having words that you can hold and having something tangible
makes a huge difference.
I completely see where you're coming from. Ever since I had to write my first story, as much as I hated it, as hard as it may have been, at the end there is a type of satisfaction. Since it is a bit harder for us to write so freely, we have to put more effort in, therefore making the satisfaction greater in the end. The comparison with the sour from the chair was really good, it helped me visualize what writing is to you very well.
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