Aaron Mazyck 9/9

#4
Before:
The fact that I played so many sports from baseball to lacrosse makes me addicted to sports and all things fitness it is crazy some people dread working out because of how sore you are the next morning. But really that's why I love it. I love to prove to people that I can work harder then them. the feeling I get when I can barely get out of bed because my abs are deathly sore, my arms aren't operating and my legs are the equivalent of ramen noodles is like winning an Olympic gold medal in the 1600.

After:
My brother would struggle out of his bed almost every morning because he would work out eight times in the week combined with football practice.I could never understand why he likes it so much. He would always tell me that one day he would finally beat me up but i doubt it will ever happen. He flops around everyday because he is so sore, i have literally watched him crawl at a snails pace up the stairs.

I chose number 4 because I thought that it would help me explain my own words better if i went through the process trying to think like someone else. And truthfully i feel like this one actually gave me new insight to how i should shape this paragraph.

Before:
Ah this kid Scott is a long time family friend and he was…  a spoiled brat. And in his mind I was not a “cool” kid. So he went out of his way to not involve me in anything. But you are probably thinking why didn’t you just get away from him? WELL! Its because he lives in Massachusetts and my family and myself would stay with his family for entire summers. So, I was stuck hanging out with Scott. Now lots of it was immaturity but never the less he treated me like %$#@ and I was constantly reminded that he will not be such a bully in the future he is just young and immature. At the time I did not believe any of the adults who kept reminding me of this which push me to football.

After:
Ah this kid Scott is a long time family friend and he was…  a spoiled brat. And in his mind I was not a “cool” kid. So he went out of his way to not let me do stuff. But you probably thinking why did you not just get away from him? WELL! Its 'cuz he lives in Mass and my family and me would stay with his family for the summers. So, I was stuck with Scott. Now lots of it was immaturity but never the less he treated me like %$#@ and I was told all the time that he will not be so mean in the future he is just young and dumb. At the time I did not believe any of the adults who kept tellin' me of this which push me to play ball.

After:
Scotty a family friend we've know forever…  spoiled brat. Scotty's mindset was Aaron wasn't popular. therefore Scotty didn't include me in anything. It's like you're wondering twhy i didn;t get away from Scotty? BECAUSE! Its 'cuz he lives in Massachusettes and my family and myself stayed with his family for the summers. So, I was stuck with Scotty. Although, lots of it was immaturity, never the less he treated me like a degenerate and I was reminded daily that he is simply ignorant. Consistenly I didn't believe anyone of the adults who reminded me of this which pushed me to play football.


I chose exercise 9 because I felt like i have trouble using being words and seeing it with a few two syllables words help me realize how elementary writing can look when more advanced vocabulary is not used.