Blog #3 - Allison Clarke-Hall "Style Exercises"

Before:

She loved to sit outside on her porch on afternoons like these—when the previously still air began to gain the energy to move the trees and other objec1ts around it. The once blue sky full of white puffy clouds became a light grey with intimidating (but welcoming) dark grey clouds. The wind, which became stronger as the minutes passed, smelt of the rain that was guaranteed to start anytime now. As the storm grew ever so closer, more and more sounds emerged from nature—the pitter-patter of the rain as it landed on the roof and began to drip down the gutters and the steady roll of the no longer distant thunder. Eventually the pitter-patter increased to a steady roar, the rumbling thunder became loud crackles and booms and the rustling of the leaves caused by the wind evolved into a stronger, higher-pitched sound as it passed her ears. Somehow this rambunctious summer thunderstorm was still the most calming experience for her.

After:

She loved to sit outside.

The air began to gain energy.

The trees began to move.

The sky turned grey.

The clouds darkened.

It was welcoming.

The wind strengthened.

It smelt of incoming rain.

The storm grew closer.

The rain was heard.

The thunder grew louder.

The rain began to roar.

The thunder crackled and boomed.

The leaves rustled in the wind.

Somehow it was still calm for her.

I chose exercise #1: Sentence Combining because the style looked interesting to me. This style can turn a wordy, overbearing paragraph into small and to the point sentences. When I was reading the examples (and even my own) I almost felt as though I was reading a free verse poem. Because a lot of the details were taken out, it also reminded me of a summary of a book. It gives an outline of what the entire paragraph is about without giving away all of the details.