Her eyes are emeralds
Her lips are a scarlet heart
Her cheeks are soft rosy mountains of flesh
His eyes were burning coals.
His car was a sabre
The television is a mother to the boy.
The tie is like a chain across the man’s neck.
a couch is a lover
a couch is an accomplice
a couch is a sea
His eyes were like burning coals.
The television was like a mother.
John had just gotten to the park when he first encountered Emma.
Emma was beautiful, but most beautifully described by John, who had instantly fallen
in love with her. It was love at first sight. According to John, her hair
looked like gold and felt like silk. When she smiled her teeth looked like
pearls, in between her scarlet heart lips. Her skin was porcelain and her nose
was just a little button on her face. Emma had emerald eyes and soft rosy
cheeks. The day Emma and John met at the park, they decided to go for a walk
around the park. The sky was ocean blue and was covered by orange and pink
cotton balls.
I really liked your "His eyes were like burning coals" and "A couch is an accomplice." I liked the coal simile because to me, that trigger a sense of passion. It made me think of hard work; that this boy had such strong dreams that his desire practically pierced through his eyes. I also really liked the couch metaphor, because I thought it was rather comical. I've seen so many shows where guys talk about how many memories their couch has, to me, I always presume derogatory, but they also refer to sporting events watched with friends on it, etc. I just thought it was funny because in a promiscuous sense, I think of a couch being like a mans wingman. Probably not what you meant, but it still made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteI really like how you made your metaphors and smilies into a story. It is interesting how just a few simple comparisons can become such a beautiful scenario. I think your story works well with your metaphors because it helps me imagine Emma well. I like how visionary you made it for the reader. “Her cheeks were rosy mountains of flesh” is so descriptive and to the point. I can feel the emotion and passion for just a small detail like this. Even the description of the sky being “ocean blue” and “covered by orange and pink cotton balls” sets the mood and tone of love very well by making even the couple’s surroundings beautiful and happy. Also, your different metaphors of a couch was interesting because it shows something as simple as a couch could potentially mean more than that to any given person.
ReplyDeleteI loved the way you turned the metaphors you created into a story. The story was very descriptive and the metaphors creatively described Emma. I really loved how you adapted “Her eyes are emeralds” and “Her cheeks are soft rosy mountains of flesh” into this sentence: “Emma had emerald eyes and soft rosy cheeks.”
ReplyDeleteI found one specific metaphor to be pretty interesting. 'The television is like a mother" made me think and ponder its meaning. I couldn't exactly understand what you meant by that and I still don't, thus why I find it interesting because it has meaning to you but not necessarily all readers.
ReplyDeleteI liked "Her lips are a scarlet heart" and "His eyes were burning coals". Those two metaphors were to most visual to me, where I have seen people personally where those descriptions would work for them. I have also been angry before were my eyes probably looked like they were burning coals.
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