Writing to me is a way to be courageous. It's a way for me to express the thoughts I'm too weak to speak. It's a way I can access the depths of who I am, and attempt to communicate it with the world. It's a way I can organize my thoughts, even if that means into a rambling mess. It's a way I vent about all the good and the bad, the highs and the lows. It's a way I can try to get a look into my mind, the way I think, the way I analyze things, the way my brain change thoughts faster than i even realize I'm thinking them. And for the way I can try to understand why I think the things I do. It's a way I can piece together different parts of myself and access the different personalities and voices I have. It's a way I can come to terms with who I am, and learn to be proud of that girl.
This is probably why writing has never seemed to bother me all that much. I enjoy it. I enjoy being able to say things on paper that I wouldn't have the confidence to say in person. I enjoy getting connected with the depths of my mind and my heart and my thoughts. I think that's why in High School i felt i would end up writing more passionately than my classmates. Due to family circumstances I was forced to grow up a lot sooner than most and that's made me look at a lot of things people normally take for granted, in a different perspective. So when I write, I write with meaning and passion and with a focus. Although you might find that harder to believe with this piece because to be completely honest, i feel like I'm just rambling. But that's okay, because to me, that's the beauty of writing. You're allowed to ramble and vent. And that for me is what writing is all about. Being able to express yourself freely.
Okay. There was no way I could not comment on your post. The ability to connect your heart, brain, and mouth is something I struggle with. It is always one of them that stops the other two from working. If I want to say something intellectual that's contrary to what everyone else in the room thinks, my heart stops me because it does not want to upset anyone. If I want to say something to someone that's kind, or romanticized, or whatever, my brain stops me because it is too sure that I would sound stupid or cliche. Then, without a doubt, if my heart and brain agree on something for once, I am guaranteed to stutter, forget a word, or ramble into nonsense. So, I really identify with writing being the safest place for all three of them to be expressed properly, and why I also felt like my papers were way too passionate to be turned in as school work.
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