Before I even began to read Sarah Allen’s essay, I thought
to myself about what I’m most anxious when it comes to writing. Whether it is
writing a paper or a piece of music or even a simple introductory blog post to
an English composition class, I have always had a constant feeling of
inadequacy. As I was reading Sarah Allen’s essay, it was as if she stole the
words right out of my mind! Every time I write, I often try to be the “Inspired
Writer” that Allen talked about, and when I don’t meet up with those
expectations, I feel unfulfilled and engulfed in tasteless mediocrity. My attempts
towards being the perfectionist that I often strive to be usually lead me into writer’s
block. I then proceed to lose most of my initial thoughts and inspiration, and
I often end up with a product that I’m not happy with since it doesn't parallel
with the “Inspired Writer” that I originally had in me. My dissatisfaction
leads me towards wishing that I have put down all my original ideas before
trying to make one idea perfect, forgetting the rest of the great ideas I
originally had. It might even be my failure to plan; I don’t know. Even when it
comes to planning out a paper, I feel like my plans aren't perfect and rather inadequate,
leading me towards perfecting my planning and forgetting my original purpose of
planning to begin with. It all comes full circle. I worry too much about making
the perfect paper, which often leads towards me making the paper worse, instead
of me pursuing the “Real Writer” in me.
The best way to handle your situation of always trying to write the "perfect paper" is what we learned from Anne Lamott in "Shitty First Drafts." Which is just get all of your ideas down on paper so you don't forget them, even if the sentence structure or vocabulary isn't exactly what you want that's what second and third drafts are meant for. The best writing you are going to do will probably come from a "shitty" first draft, and even if you are a perfectionist once you come to the realization that a poor first draft is necessary to a great final paper you will become the best writer you can be. I think writing multiple drafts could be very beneficial for your writing in the future.
ReplyDeleteThe "perfect paper" is in quotations for more than one reason. It's relative. It's like art. If you walk into a museum and see an elephant sculpture made of nothing but plastic straws and held together by dried mustard, you'll have one of two thoughts, either, "That would look perfect on my mantel!" or "Why is this in a museum?" The same goes for writing. If your goal is to make a perfect paper, you are going to fail every time. Just focus on pouring your brain into a paper you can feel proud of, not find perfection in.
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