The idea of writing a personal essay " to give myself voice... " according to Murray is the reason that resonated the most with me. I find it much easier to write personal essays to write in a clear way and express myself than any other form. Even when it comes to a classroom setting and there is a prompt- when I write It helps me to form my ideas and take the time to really figure out what I am trying to say. I tend to keep things to myself sometimes even when I have a lot I could say and when I write I can say what I want. I am able to express my feelings or fears or anything I wish. Personal essays give me the opportunity to put down in solid writing whatever points I am trying to convey.
I also feel like, for me, that also ties into "I discover how much I know and what I didn't know I knew.." -Murray as well. When I am writing to be heard it makes me conscious of what I am saying. If it's a personal essay I want it to have a strong impact. A lot of times I write the way I would want to give a speech. I'm really interested in public speaking and that is probably the main reason why I write that way. I focus on making strong points whatever the objective is. To persuade, to make an impact, or just tell a story. I always want the writing to be powerful and to leave people with some sort of idea after reading it. I write about things that I have strong opinions about and that is really different from the way I talk or the way I act. Giving myself a voice through my writing allows me to target points I want to make. I am very emotional and have strong opinions so I tend to get really caught up in debates (one reason I stray away from speech& debate clubs) When I am writing a personal essay I can address others points but mine is still the main focus. So as i'm writing i get to explore what I know and make a clear argument for whatever it is I am writing about.
I really empathize with how you said you keep things to yourself and that when you write you can form your ideas and figure out what you're trying to say. I feel the same with my personal writing. I have hundreds of thoughts always circling around my head, so writing them down really helps me remember them all and further advance the different thoughts. One thing I often do is to keep numerous extensive notes in my phone on anything that crosses my mind which I wish to remember. Maybe you could try this technique to help you voice those silent thoughts you have in your head!
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